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Chicagoland MG Club: Driveline
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Cover
Intro & Club Officers
The Steering Column
Ode MG Xmas Party
Election Results
Just a Simple Wrench
Amtrack Road Trip
Regalia Items Available
Regalia Order Form
Tales of the Mongrel
Tex.'s Sessions
MG Factory Brick
Y2K In Review
Classifieds
CMGC Events 2001
Back Cover

  Chicagoland MG Club:Driveline
TALES OF THE MONGREL
Mongrel's Knife

TALL TALES
by Ralph Arata

Part III of III

These were “serious” drivers! Although the average age of the racecars was 25 years they all performed in a fashion that would have be-deviled their manufacturers. Down through the Ann-geo Bypass and onto the Makarska coastal highway they roared.

The 3 Midgets staggered. 2 fell back checking their distance with the MGB intruder! Not only would the Neutralizer need to take them out but also, it would need to be done without harm to innocents. That was part of the Neutralizer’s code. However, when it came time for Sir William himself, there would be NO code. Only order of battle.

The Neutralizer was ordered by the President to retrieve Dr. Kaplan and the NC3 plans from Sir William Hendricks, knight, hand-to-hand combat expert and international arms dealer. Dr Kaplan had been rescued, but not the NC3 plan, which would render the world’s stealth technology useless, and enable terrorists to deliver a nuclear or chemical threat anywhere on the globe!!

The first Midget fell back to within 50 feet of the Mongrel’s bumper. The driver wheeled a sawed off Moseberg Street Sweeper Auto shot gun and emptied all seven shells in less then 2 seconds. Pellets melted into the Mongrel’s armor. The “B’s” windscreen spider-webbed but held. However, the next burst would do it and the Neutralizer saw the second Moseberg coming into play. The Neutralizer power-shifter the Borg-Warner tranny into fourth and slammed the accelerator engaging all 325 horses!

The MG came screaming on, clipping the Midget’s front - driver’s side fender. The Midget spun wildly as its driver struggled to “right” the hopelessly out-of-control car. The smaller MG slid violently sideways onto the dirt shoulder and then over the ragged coastal cliff face, to the shoreline rocks over 200 feet below.

The Neutralizer gripped the MG’s 10” Porsche-styled steering wheel hard and immediately shifted back into 5th gear not needing to wait on the fate of Midget’s driver!

The Mongrel accelerated past 100mph passing an XK 150 Jaguar and then 106 Healy. Beautiful cars but no match for the Indy-styled engineering that only yawned at the 100+ mph speed.

The Mongrel came over a low rise in the road and onto a long straightaway. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the second Midget appeared! This time the Neutralizer noticed the stubby muzzle of a Heckler & Koch MP-5 “Tracer”. The sub-gun had its folding stock withdrawn for easy one-handed target acquisition. The Midget came on “for the kill”. The Neutralizer floored the “B’s ” accelerator. With the top down, the Neutralizer was a sitting duck for 9mm death that would soon spew from the MP-5’s muzzle. The Midget still came on, probably V-6 powered and turbo-charged - just enough muscle to give the Midget’s driver a clean shot.

The Neutralizer “power-shifted” the Mongrel’s race transmission into fourth. The Pirelli P-8s screamed the physics as the “B” backed off from the Midget. Arata yanked the Beretta 93R from its quick draw holster and began a barrage of 9mm “distraction”!! The clip ran dry and the Neutralizer threw the smaller gun to the floor pulling the 44 magnum Desert Eagle.

No clean shot for the Neutralizer’s hand cannon! The Desert Eagle dropped into the Neutralizer’s lap as he wheeled the A203/M-16 grenade launcher into play. With a 30mm incendiary round already loaded he again floored the Mongrel’s accelerator and came up on the rear passenger side. Again, the driver of the Midget tracked the H&K MP-5 but his reflexes were just a second behind the Neutralizer’s. The Midget driver’s eyes widened as he watched the 30mm comet streak to him. His world lit up in bright light and fire - then went dead!

The Neutralizer again kicked in all the 325 horses the Mongrel’s V-8 had to give, and laid chase to Sir William.

Through the “S” curves at nearly 100mph with the P-8’s barely straining to keep up with the road’s dynamics. Passing a vintage Lotus, a Mercedes, another big Healy and a few Jaguars. Each time the Mongrel raced passed them their drivers watched, open-mouthed as if they were standing still.

Sir William was holding a party and the Neutralizer wanted to be the gatecrasher. The Neutralizer’s gate crash would not be jovial but grim. It would be final!

The coastal highway yawned into a 2-mile stretch and the MGB’s speedo registered 130mph. And ahead, a red car, a Midget! Yes, it was Sir William!!

Sir William also saw the “B” in his rearview. His passenger yanked a stubby-nosed Karishnakov and pointed at the Neutralizer. The Russian assault rifles 11mm death tracked to the “B” as the Neutralizer broke the wheel hard left and then right to avoid the line of fire. Again, the 44-magnum Israeli Desert Eagle appeared in the Neutralizer’s gun hand and he aimed for the rear tires of the Midget. The smaller MG went into a sudden tailspin as a magnum slug found its mark. Sir William expertly drove the crippled MG into the embankment and exited bringing a small case with him…..THE N3 PLANS!

Sir William stopped at the edge of the embankment. He looked down at the ocean below and then looked up at the Neutralizer and laughed. “Its our time now, my friend.” Sir William placed the small case at his feet and immediately went into a combat stance. The Neutralizer approached him in the “ready” position. The 2 soldiers approached each other cautiously like 2 great, hungry cats ready to pounce.

Sir William feinted with a right hook and immediately followed through by driving his left fist to the Neutralizer’s throat. The Neutralizer blocked the feint but only partially “checked” the follow through and Sir William’s fist struck him in the jaw. Dazed but not hurt the Neutralizer came forward with a right hand Korean chop whipping his right elbow around and catching Sir William in the kidneys. Sir William stepped back and came again, this time with double-handed karate chops. He quickly rammed his knee upward catching the Neutralizer in the ribs. The Neutralizer leaped back with his right foot snap kicking into Sir William solar plexus. Again the soldiers circled each other - 2 tired animals but each ready for the kill. Sir William sprang forward, and then twisted with his right hand scything around catching the other soldier across the back. The Neutralizer followed with a roundhouse kick catching Sir William across the shoulder blades.

Sir William was forced to take several steps back. As he approached the edge of the embankment he covered and replanted himself firmly - while doing this he kicked the case containing the N3 plans over the embankment to the ocean below. He realized what he had done and looked up at the Neutralizer - a mad dog fire in his eyes. The plans were lost and the Neutralizer would pay!

It was then something happened. The Neutralizer was hit from behind. He saw stars and fell to the ground. He blinked and looked up and saw who had to have been the “other” person in the Midget. A silver Walther P34 was aimed at him cradled in a small and slender hand. The Neutralizer blinked again, “Lady Sarah I presume”. Lady Sarah who was Sir William’s wife and alter ego looked down at the Neutralizer and said. “Get in you car now, and leave us”! “Go and live for another day”!

The Neutralizer rose and drove off. Yes, there would be another day but for now the world was safe and the Neutralizer had other assignments to complete, other places to be and other people to see!!! The sun was setting and the Neutralizer’s head ached from the blow he had received from P34………… I blinked, and opened my eyes. The room was dark…and quiet. TOO dark and quiet. I rose quietly and moved to a large table. There was a note. It read. “Dear Ralph, Now that you are finally up and around, I have taken the kids to ice skating. Remember the neighbors are coming at 6:00PM. Please be sure to wash the dishes and vacuum. I will be back soon. Susan”!

Oh well, even for the Neutralizer life does go on??


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