It happened again. Or perhaps more properly I should say it didn’t happen again. Every year I ask Santa for just one little thing, a new Jaguar roadster. But what do I get? Bupkis. Socks and underwear. I thought that this time things would be different. I was especially nice this past year, except for those two little incidents. And in my defense they only happened because I was not properly supervised. But we can talk about that later.

I woke up bright and early on Christmas morning all ready to go on a nice little car ride. I look out in the drive and what to my wondering eyes should appear? The same old pickup that’s been there for 12 years. But wait, now that the Mini has moved to a new home there is plenty of room in the garage for that new F Type R. Santa wouldn’t let it sit outside in the cold overnight. So I run outside in just my PJs, swing open the garage door, and there it is. A nice new shiny piece of coal. Merry Christmas!

Depressed, I start to walk back to the house and discover that Santa’s sleigh has dislodged shingles from the roof. I find this out by stepping bare foot on one with a protruding nail. Dang that hurts. As I’m hopping around on one foot my other foot lands in a pile of reindeer poop. Bupkis. I stumble into the house and trip over the cat, fall flat on my face and get a bloody nose. I make it into the shower but Deb has already used up all the hot water. Merry Christmas!

While I’m waiting for the water heater to catch up I plan my revenge. Next year I’ll hide outside in the bushes waiting for Santa with my 30-30. If there isn’t a Jaguar in his bag I’ll harvest a couple of those reindeer and have venison for dinner. Especially the one with the red shiny nose. HO HO HO. Who’s jolly now you little old elf?

The water finally gets hot and I clean up. Get dressed and settle down on the couch to relax. The cat jumps up and sits down on my lap and starts to purr. Deb is out in the kitchen making eggs Benedict for our breakfast but takes a break to bring me a mimosa. And the MGB is still out in the garage awaiting spring. Santa, all is forgiven. It was a Merry Christmas after all.


Quiz
I think that Victor, our editor, and I got our signals crossed. I’m sure that it had nothing to do with adult beverages being served at the meeting. The photo quiz on page 7 of last month’s Driveline will be running until the January meeting, at which time the winner will be announced. So there is still plenty of time to send in an entry. The original photo ran in an ad for Kiplinger’s Personal Finance Magazine with “Get on the road to a financially secure retirement” as the caption.

~~ Bill Mennell